seems like I'm back at start again

It's been very sporadic in being able to get to the gym for the last couple of weeks-
between a busy work week, and some unexpected interruptions due to keeping the two
older grandkids all week ( Adriane and I are tag-teaming taking care of them)
so we were able to get to the gym last night- neither of us had any desire to go, but went anyway- can't even say we felt exhilarated afterwards- I just felt tired and fat, not just tired.
I think if it weren't for us joining together, we're both at a point where we'd say "screw it" and quit.

Then I remember a quote I heard recently: A victory isn't much of a victory if it didn't involve a battle... using a word picture of winning a sports game- isn't much to brag about if the opposing team simply forfeits the game- sometimes I wished temptations worked like that though.


I'm not a shrink, but I think I'm battling depression/discouragement- which is the trigger for
my poor eating habits to start with- I feel like a failure and think "why bother" and so I become my own worst enemy.

This is where I wished I had human support. I don't even feel like I can encourage Adriane when I am such a hypocrite. I have a hard time cheering someone else on- not that I want her to fail, but I don't think she feels the support from me when I have the dark cloud looming over my head.

B/P medicine changed!

I have a praise to share!
I gave my doctor my b/p stats to show him
how erratic my readings have been, particularly
in this last 10 days...
he wants me to try the b/p medicine I'm taking
without the diuretic attached to it.
I'm currently taking Diovan HCT 80/12.5
so now I will be on just plain Diovan , same strength 80/12.5
Kinda wished this would have happened sooner, BEFORE I
ordered a 90 day supply...ugh
But I am really glad that the exercise seems to be dropping my
b/p...and that I can get off the water pill.
I won't have to go weee weee weee all the home anymore....

There is less of me, and that's a GOOD thing

This has been a victorious week for me, and it wasn't easy, but
at least I've won some battles of the bulge...and my flesh is
being trained...
I've fought off the temptation more than once to skip going to
the gym, to binge out on ice cream, to skip meals because
it seems stupid to eat when I'm NOT hungry...the list goes on.
However, I have cried out to God for His strength and grace
when I've needed it, and He has come through in POWER-
and the fruit of self-control kicks in gear- I give Him the praise,
and He gets the glory...I reap the benefits in both my physical
body, as well as my spiritual one.

I joined SnapFitness about 6 weeks ago and my BMI is down
1.2%, with a 5.5 lb. weight loss ( according to the scales )
The staff will re-measure me at the beginning of Aug,
and I will get a better idea of where I'm losing the inches.
Since I have worked out in the past (Curves) I'm aware that
as I build muscle, some areas such as thighs and arms may
actually increase, so I won't be discouraged if these numbers
go up.
I am experiencing some problems w/ my blood pressure-
it is erratic- I suppose it would be a good idea to call my
doctor and talk to him about it.
It seems to reason that if exercise and diet can lower b/p
and cholesterol , then the current dosage might need to
be lowered as well ( I sure hope so ).
So, I'm about to begin into the 7th week of this interesting
journey of exercising my body and my faith.
Stay tuned ( or should I say "toned"?)

God can change my cravings

I always wondered how come I can't crave broccoli in the middle of the night instead of chocolate?? so I started asking God to give me that desire- I didn't really seriously think
He'd answer that because I didn't really seriously mean it with my whole heart...


To God's glory...I have been craving- YES, actually craving vegetables...that is from God,
because that isn't even normal for me...I like veggies, but I don't crave them...
now I can't say I don't have cravings for chocolate or other sweets, but a small dose satisfies me,
not the entire bag..... that too is a gift of grace.......

However, I do seriously think it was a Reese cup that satan tempted Eve with, not an apple.........

Doing it for Him not me

Okay I'm beginning this journey very slowly...this blogging thing is a new adventure too.
I am on a journey, I am walking with the Lord...along the way, it is my hope to lose some excess weight I have gained over the years...my ideal goal would be to lose about 50 pounds. I have already had words of discouragement and that is so very frustrating...they come from ones who either don't have a struggle in this area, or feel that I shouldn't be complaining because 50 pounds doesn't sound like a lot of weight to lose...UGH! it is for me...You see, I don't have a weight problem, I have a food problem...I eat too much of the wrong things and it is causing serious health problems- that, if left alone...will escalate...I don't want to wait till I can't exercise...
However, I am not getting on a scale and keeping track of my weight as a means of measuring my progress- my goal is to lose 50 pounds, but that is because for my height and age, and based on how I felt 50 pounds ago, I know that is a realistic and healthy goal for which to strive.
My main goal is to get rid of the stored body fat- thus reducing my BMI ( body mass index)- which seems to be a more accurate measurement of progress. It is this number that I seek to lessen, it is the excess stored body fat ( particularly around my midsection) that increases my risk for late onset diabetes, circulatory & heart problems- and it runs in the family so I HAVE to get this under control before I do irreversable damage-
So, come along with me on my journey...I am doing this as part of my testimony of what the Lord is doing in my life...I will depend on Him to see me through this.
He is already providing the way out...my role is to follow Him.