I am trying to resolve to keep on fighting this battle, and I've been getting to the gym more often, but the time drags on and I just don't want to be there- I don't want to be home either- so it's not like I'm missing out on something else-
it's frustrating, being so discouraged. Yet I am more discouraged when I look in the mirror- I wished the gym didn't have wall to wall mirrors- it probably works in the athletic person's favor- it's almost pathetic how many times I've observed the guys checking themselves out in them while they're lifting weights- but it isn't working in my favor right now...rather, it's having the opposite effect.
I realize I didn't get in this shape overnight, and it isn't coming off overnight either- but I am just in a slump right now and don't know how to overcome it.
I am encouraged that my b/p is doing better- I sure don't miss the diuretic- Diovan HCT- or the pulse medication- Atenolol- that one made me quite tired and sometimes
dropped my b/p too low so I only took it when my pulse started racing- which, for some strange reason, was in the wee hours of the morning? weird.
Well, I am just rambling at this point...don't ever care about this stupid blogging.
I feel like I'm the only one who reads it anyhow.
I'm just tired of being everyone else's cheerleader and who basically gives a squat about me?
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Jill,
ReplyDeleteI do read your blog and I pray for you when I read it. Believe me, I understand how you are feeling. It really helps me that Mark is on this diet, too. It also helps that it's just the 2 of us, so we don't have to buy "extra" non-diet food. I am glad you are blogging because at least you have a place to vent out your frustrations.
I will pray for the Lord to put a real desire in your heart that will motivate you to keep on.
Melanie
Thank you Melanie- I have somewhat of the opposite problem with my spouse( also named Mark) - although he has gained approx. the same amount of excess weight, he states he is in fine shape-
ReplyDeletehis cholesterol is fine and so is his blood sugar...part of me is glad for him, and another part loathes that fact...and he can drop pounds quickly by just skipping a few meals for a week- he just doesn't understand the battle at all. He doesn't CRAVE junk food, he'll eat it, but he doesn't understand the food bondages. I am grateful he doesn't seem to be unattracted to me- that's at least a good thing.
Momma-
ReplyDeleteIt takes me a while to get here...but I do read it. And I think of you (and Adriane!) everytime I hear of you guys going to the gym. I know the battle is soooo hard! It doesn't matter if there's 5 lbs to go, or 25, or say 150....the battle is hard. If you are anything like me the battle is in every morsel, every step...but the victories are in every right choice too!!!! Keep fighting. It's worth it.
BTW: I dreamt about this blog over and over last night! LOL. Where you were talking about your medications and stuff. Maybe its b/c I'm on atenolol too, and I was wondering if that is the reason I'm always tired? Anyways, I read it over and over in my sleep! Hahaha.
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