UGH!!!! That's all I can say. Ideally I should have had a 3 month evaluation from the personal trainer, but that never happened. August was a bad month between work, illness and motivation. I only got to the gym about 5 or 6 times during the whole month. I feel like I'm back at square 1. I did have an evaluation on Aug 31...
and I hadn't shown much improvement for 4 months of working out...
and then, come to find out...I am misinformed about the body fat/BMI numbers.
The body fat % is the only one, according to the personal trainer, that matters.
Not the other way around. So, while I'm getting excited at seeing the BMI number go down, the % of body fat remains the same...which is not good. It's good that it isn't going up, but in order to see that number get smaller, I need to do MORE
fat burning- that is, build muscle- exercises and less cardio.
Right now, I am so lethargic, I have NO energy to even WANT to go to the gym, much less do it. And I have been cheering myself on at the fact that I was going and at least doing the cardio... I was all psyched that I was working hard, sweating and
burning at least 400+ calories in the hour I was there.
Now it just seems like all I did was tread water for 4 months...very very very
discouraging.... and letting up for a whole month, I am even more tired now.
If this is what is going to happen...if I've started something that I MUST maintain
here on out, or I'll be even MORE out of shape...then I may as well quit now.
Is this going to be like steroids? You can't ever get off them or your body falls apart without them???????? I'll repeat it again .........UGH!!!!!!!!!
on a side note: my b/p was completely wacky at the beginning of the month- part of the reason I wasn't feeling well. I had to resume my old Rx ( with the diuretic )
and I have only had relief from the migraines with Excedrin. The caffeine does help,
but herein is the catch-22 with that bugger- it affects my ability to sleep because
it wrecks havoc on my hormonal system. The menopausal symptoms are returning, the hot flashes are returning and the caffeine is causing breast pains again.
I did show some weight loss over the 4 month period ( less than 5 pounds...let's all jump for joy{sarcasm} ) BUT ( and I do have a big one- haha) the inches are less all over- bust, waist, hips, thighs, arms, calves... so at least SOMEthing to show for my work... but nothing anyone has noticed or commented on. At this point, I'd
even appreciate lying about it... no comments at all- complete apathy- is THE MOST
DISCOURAGING thing I encounter.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
My weekly weigh ins
I started keeping track of my weight, BMI and % of body fat...
SnapFitness suggested only weighing in once every 3 months, but I read something elsewhere that makes much more sense to me...
If you're driving and you take a detour, it is much easier ( and less stressful I might add) to get back on course if you realize very quickly that you've taken a wrong turn and need to backtrack...if you continue to drive off course for a long time, you end up really lost and can get very discouraged....hence the idea of weekly
weigh ins... if you notice you're gaining...it's much easier to put the brakes on...rather than work for 3 months and realize it....
so it makes sense to me... so I started keeping track as of Aug 1, 2009...will weigh myself every Monday am about the same time...
DATE WEIGHT % B.M.I.
08/01/09 162.6 38.4 30.7
08/10/09 156.4 38.8 29.6
08/17/09 157.2 37.9 29.7
SnapFitness suggested only weighing in once every 3 months, but I read something elsewhere that makes much more sense to me...
If you're driving and you take a detour, it is much easier ( and less stressful I might add) to get back on course if you realize very quickly that you've taken a wrong turn and need to backtrack...if you continue to drive off course for a long time, you end up really lost and can get very discouraged....hence the idea of weekly
weigh ins... if you notice you're gaining...it's much easier to put the brakes on...rather than work for 3 months and realize it....
so it makes sense to me... so I started keeping track as of Aug 1, 2009...will weigh myself every Monday am about the same time...
DATE WEIGHT % B.M.I.
08/01/09 162.6 38.4 30.7
08/10/09 156.4 38.8 29.6
08/17/09 157.2 37.9 29.7
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
My cholesterol is going down- Praising God!!!!!!!!!!
I just got the results from my last blood work up-
My total cholesterol is down 23 points! Still not under 200, but
it's dropping and that's a good thing.
He still is urging me to take cholesterol medicine...I said
NO, I will wait and see what the next blood work up says in 6 months...if, after
diet and exercise, it still isn't in the safe range, I will consider it.
My tricylcerides are still within normal range but on the high end of normal
and have gone up, which is NOT a good thing and will have to talk to the doctor about that- I understand the good and bad cholesterol, but I don't know what tricylcerides are all about......will do some research to find out myself.
My good cholesterol is still higher than normal, but it also has dropped (which isn't necessarily a good thing or a bad thing)
Cholesterol Total
Was 259 Now 236 -23 Normal Range <200
Tricylcerides
Was 130 Now 147 +17 Normal Range <150
HDL Cholesterol
Was 58 Now 50 -08 Normal Range >45
LDL Cholesterol
Was 175 Now 157 -18 Normal Range <100
My total cholesterol is down 23 points! Still not under 200, but
it's dropping and that's a good thing.
He still is urging me to take cholesterol medicine...I said
NO, I will wait and see what the next blood work up says in 6 months...if, after
diet and exercise, it still isn't in the safe range, I will consider it.
My tricylcerides are still within normal range but on the high end of normal
and have gone up, which is NOT a good thing and will have to talk to the doctor about that- I understand the good and bad cholesterol, but I don't know what tricylcerides are all about......will do some research to find out myself.
My good cholesterol is still higher than normal, but it also has dropped (which isn't necessarily a good thing or a bad thing)
Cholesterol Total
Was 259 Now 236 -23 Normal Range <200
Tricylcerides
Was 130 Now 147 +17 Normal Range <150
HDL Cholesterol
Was 58 Now 50 -08 Normal Range >45
LDL Cholesterol
Was 175 Now 157 -18 Normal Range <100
Monday, July 13, 2009
The goal line is closer than I thought.....cool....
I just found out that in order to get my BMI into the safe range, I need to lose
30 lbs...that is 20 less than my goal...That is encouraging. So my goal isn't as
far outta sight as I thought it was......
Ya know what's funny?
My goal is to get to where I was in high school- when I had energy/stamina-
Shoot, I twirled rifles in marching band and could march in the parades without getting tired!
Funny thing is...those days, I was convinced I was a fat slob who needed to lose
about 15 -20 lbs. back then... guess we're never happy with how we look, huh?
( and we all hear how these gorgeous models have low self esteems too and aren't happy with how they look )
Gee, I wonder what my cholesterol levels were back then? I didn't care what I ate,
and I cringe when I think about my eating habits......
Probably if I'd have had them checked, they would have been normal/good...
Go figure....
30 lbs...that is 20 less than my goal...That is encouraging. So my goal isn't as
far outta sight as I thought it was......
Ya know what's funny?
My goal is to get to where I was in high school- when I had energy/stamina-
Shoot, I twirled rifles in marching band and could march in the parades without getting tired!
Funny thing is...those days, I was convinced I was a fat slob who needed to lose
about 15 -20 lbs. back then... guess we're never happy with how we look, huh?
( and we all hear how these gorgeous models have low self esteems too and aren't happy with how they look )
Gee, I wonder what my cholesterol levels were back then? I didn't care what I ate,
and I cringe when I think about my eating habits......
Probably if I'd have had them checked, they would have been normal/good...
Go figure....
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Re-reading my past blogs.....
Interesting how going back and re-reading my past blogs gives me a new perspective?!
Didn't I say I wasn't going to measure my success by what the number on the scale said, but rather the BMI- which is a better indicator of what's going on INSIDE
that isn't showing up on the OUTSIDE yet...??? Oh yeah, I forgot...
Someone needs to smack me upside the head and remind me of that... well, SOMEONE did... the Lord prompted me to go back and re-read my own words, and reminded me that I have lost some body fat, I am building muscle because I have increased the weights I am lifting on most of the machines, and my blood pressure is dropping...
so there is progress going on...and I've allowed discouragement to drag me down.
Check out this passage from The Message: Hebrews 12:1
"Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!"
Didn't I say I wasn't going to measure my success by what the number on the scale said, but rather the BMI- which is a better indicator of what's going on INSIDE
that isn't showing up on the OUTSIDE yet...??? Oh yeah, I forgot...
Someone needs to smack me upside the head and remind me of that... well, SOMEONE did... the Lord prompted me to go back and re-read my own words, and reminded me that I have lost some body fat, I am building muscle because I have increased the weights I am lifting on most of the machines, and my blood pressure is dropping...
so there is progress going on...and I've allowed discouragement to drag me down.
Check out this passage from The Message: Hebrews 12:1
"Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!"
Sunday, July 5, 2009
plugging away but heart not in this
I am trying to resolve to keep on fighting this battle, and I've been getting to the gym more often, but the time drags on and I just don't want to be there- I don't want to be home either- so it's not like I'm missing out on something else-
it's frustrating, being so discouraged. Yet I am more discouraged when I look in the mirror- I wished the gym didn't have wall to wall mirrors- it probably works in the athletic person's favor- it's almost pathetic how many times I've observed the guys checking themselves out in them while they're lifting weights- but it isn't working in my favor right now...rather, it's having the opposite effect.
I realize I didn't get in this shape overnight, and it isn't coming off overnight either- but I am just in a slump right now and don't know how to overcome it.
I am encouraged that my b/p is doing better- I sure don't miss the diuretic- Diovan HCT- or the pulse medication- Atenolol- that one made me quite tired and sometimes
dropped my b/p too low so I only took it when my pulse started racing- which, for some strange reason, was in the wee hours of the morning? weird.
Well, I am just rambling at this point...don't ever care about this stupid blogging.
I feel like I'm the only one who reads it anyhow.
I'm just tired of being everyone else's cheerleader and who basically gives a squat about me?
it's frustrating, being so discouraged. Yet I am more discouraged when I look in the mirror- I wished the gym didn't have wall to wall mirrors- it probably works in the athletic person's favor- it's almost pathetic how many times I've observed the guys checking themselves out in them while they're lifting weights- but it isn't working in my favor right now...rather, it's having the opposite effect.
I realize I didn't get in this shape overnight, and it isn't coming off overnight either- but I am just in a slump right now and don't know how to overcome it.
I am encouraged that my b/p is doing better- I sure don't miss the diuretic- Diovan HCT- or the pulse medication- Atenolol- that one made me quite tired and sometimes
dropped my b/p too low so I only took it when my pulse started racing- which, for some strange reason, was in the wee hours of the morning? weird.
Well, I am just rambling at this point...don't ever care about this stupid blogging.
I feel like I'm the only one who reads it anyhow.
I'm just tired of being everyone else's cheerleader and who basically gives a squat about me?
Friday, June 26, 2009
seems like I'm back at start again
It's been very sporadic in being able to get to the gym for the last couple of weeks-
between a busy work week, and some unexpected interruptions due to keeping the two
older grandkids all week ( Adriane and I are tag-teaming taking care of them)
so we were able to get to the gym last night- neither of us had any desire to go, but went anyway- can't even say we felt exhilarated afterwards- I just felt tired and fat, not just tired.
I think if it weren't for us joining together, we're both at a point where we'd say "screw it" and quit.
Then I remember a quote I heard recently: A victory isn't much of a victory if it didn't involve a battle... using a word picture of winning a sports game- isn't much to brag about if the opposing team simply forfeits the game- sometimes I wished temptations worked like that though.
I'm not a shrink, but I think I'm battling depression/discouragement- which is the trigger for
my poor eating habits to start with- I feel like a failure and think "why bother" and so I become my own worst enemy.
This is where I wished I had human support. I don't even feel like I can encourage Adriane when I am such a hypocrite. I have a hard time cheering someone else on- not that I want her to fail, but I don't think she feels the support from me when I have the dark cloud looming over my head.
between a busy work week, and some unexpected interruptions due to keeping the two
older grandkids all week ( Adriane and I are tag-teaming taking care of them)
so we were able to get to the gym last night- neither of us had any desire to go, but went anyway- can't even say we felt exhilarated afterwards- I just felt tired and fat, not just tired.
I think if it weren't for us joining together, we're both at a point where we'd say "screw it" and quit.
Then I remember a quote I heard recently: A victory isn't much of a victory if it didn't involve a battle... using a word picture of winning a sports game- isn't much to brag about if the opposing team simply forfeits the game- sometimes I wished temptations worked like that though.
I'm not a shrink, but I think I'm battling depression/discouragement- which is the trigger for
my poor eating habits to start with- I feel like a failure and think "why bother" and so I become my own worst enemy.
This is where I wished I had human support. I don't even feel like I can encourage Adriane when I am such a hypocrite. I have a hard time cheering someone else on- not that I want her to fail, but I don't think she feels the support from me when I have the dark cloud looming over my head.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
B/P medicine changed!
I have a praise to share!
I gave my doctor my b/p stats to show him
how erratic my readings have been, particularly
in this last 10 days...
he wants me to try the b/p medicine I'm taking
without the diuretic attached to it.
I'm currently taking Diovan HCT 80/12.5
so now I will be on just plain Diovan , same strength 80/12.5
Kinda wished this would have happened sooner, BEFORE I
ordered a 90 day supply...ugh
But I am really glad that the exercise seems to be dropping my
b/p...and that I can get off the water pill.
I won't have to go weee weee weee all the home anymore....
I gave my doctor my b/p stats to show him
how erratic my readings have been, particularly
in this last 10 days...
he wants me to try the b/p medicine I'm taking
without the diuretic attached to it.
I'm currently taking Diovan HCT 80/12.5
so now I will be on just plain Diovan , same strength 80/12.5
Kinda wished this would have happened sooner, BEFORE I
ordered a 90 day supply...ugh
But I am really glad that the exercise seems to be dropping my
b/p...and that I can get off the water pill.
I won't have to go weee weee weee all the home anymore....
Sunday, June 14, 2009
There is less of me, and that's a GOOD thing
This has been a victorious week for me, and it wasn't easy, but
at least I've won some battles of the bulge...and my flesh is
being trained...
I've fought off the temptation more than once to skip going to
the gym, to binge out on ice cream, to skip meals because
it seems stupid to eat when I'm NOT hungry...the list goes on.
However, I have cried out to God for His strength and grace
when I've needed it, and He has come through in POWER-
and the fruit of self-control kicks in gear- I give Him the praise,
and He gets the glory...I reap the benefits in both my physical
body, as well as my spiritual one.
I joined SnapFitness about 6 weeks ago and my BMI is down
1.2%, with a 5.5 lb. weight loss ( according to the scales )
The staff will re-measure me at the beginning of Aug,
and I will get a better idea of where I'm losing the inches.
Since I have worked out in the past (Curves) I'm aware that
as I build muscle, some areas such as thighs and arms may
actually increase, so I won't be discouraged if these numbers
go up.
I am experiencing some problems w/ my blood pressure-
it is erratic- I suppose it would be a good idea to call my
doctor and talk to him about it.
It seems to reason that if exercise and diet can lower b/p
and cholesterol , then the current dosage might need to
be lowered as well ( I sure hope so ).
So, I'm about to begin into the 7th week of this interesting
journey of exercising my body and my faith.
Stay tuned ( or should I say "toned"?)
at least I've won some battles of the bulge...and my flesh is
being trained...
I've fought off the temptation more than once to skip going to
the gym, to binge out on ice cream, to skip meals because
it seems stupid to eat when I'm NOT hungry...the list goes on.
However, I have cried out to God for His strength and grace
when I've needed it, and He has come through in POWER-
and the fruit of self-control kicks in gear- I give Him the praise,
and He gets the glory...I reap the benefits in both my physical
body, as well as my spiritual one.
I joined SnapFitness about 6 weeks ago and my BMI is down
1.2%, with a 5.5 lb. weight loss ( according to the scales )
The staff will re-measure me at the beginning of Aug,
and I will get a better idea of where I'm losing the inches.
Since I have worked out in the past (Curves) I'm aware that
as I build muscle, some areas such as thighs and arms may
actually increase, so I won't be discouraged if these numbers
go up.
I am experiencing some problems w/ my blood pressure-
it is erratic- I suppose it would be a good idea to call my
doctor and talk to him about it.
It seems to reason that if exercise and diet can lower b/p
and cholesterol , then the current dosage might need to
be lowered as well ( I sure hope so ).
So, I'm about to begin into the 7th week of this interesting
journey of exercising my body and my faith.
Stay tuned ( or should I say "toned"?)
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
God can change my cravings
I always wondered how come I can't crave broccoli in the middle of the night instead of chocolate?? so I started asking God to give me that desire- I didn't really seriously think
He'd answer that because I didn't really seriously mean it with my whole heart...
To God's glory...I have been craving- YES, actually craving vegetables...that is from God,
because that isn't even normal for me...I like veggies, but I don't crave them...
now I can't say I don't have cravings for chocolate or other sweets, but a small dose satisfies me,
not the entire bag..... that too is a gift of grace.......
He'd answer that because I didn't really seriously mean it with my whole heart...
To God's glory...I have been craving- YES, actually craving vegetables...that is from God,
because that isn't even normal for me...I like veggies, but I don't crave them...
now I can't say I don't have cravings for chocolate or other sweets, but a small dose satisfies me,
not the entire bag..... that too is a gift of grace.......
However, I do seriously think it was a Reese cup that satan tempted Eve with, not an apple.........
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Doing it for Him not me
Okay I'm beginning this journey very slowly...this blogging thing is a new adventure too.
I am on a journey, I am walking with the Lord...along the way, it is my hope to lose some excess weight I have gained over the years...my ideal goal would be to lose about 50 pounds. I have already had words of discouragement and that is so very frustrating...they come from ones who either don't have a struggle in this area, or feel that I shouldn't be complaining because 50 pounds doesn't sound like a lot of weight to lose...UGH! it is for me...You see, I don't have a weight problem, I have a food problem...I eat too much of the wrong things and it is causing serious health problems- that, if left alone...will escalate...I don't want to wait till I can't exercise...
However, I am not getting on a scale and keeping track of my weight as a means of measuring my progress- my goal is to lose 50 pounds, but that is because for my height and age, and based on how I felt 50 pounds ago, I know that is a realistic and healthy goal for which to strive.
My main goal is to get rid of the stored body fat- thus reducing my BMI ( body mass index)- which seems to be a more accurate measurement of progress. It is this number that I seek to lessen, it is the excess stored body fat ( particularly around my midsection) that increases my risk for late onset diabetes, circulatory & heart problems- and it runs in the family so I HAVE to get this under control before I do irreversable damage-
So, come along with me on my journey...I am doing this as part of my testimony of what the Lord is doing in my life...I will depend on Him to see me through this.
He is already providing the way out...my role is to follow Him.
I am on a journey, I am walking with the Lord...along the way, it is my hope to lose some excess weight I have gained over the years...my ideal goal would be to lose about 50 pounds. I have already had words of discouragement and that is so very frustrating...they come from ones who either don't have a struggle in this area, or feel that I shouldn't be complaining because 50 pounds doesn't sound like a lot of weight to lose...UGH! it is for me...You see, I don't have a weight problem, I have a food problem...I eat too much of the wrong things and it is causing serious health problems- that, if left alone...will escalate...I don't want to wait till I can't exercise...
However, I am not getting on a scale and keeping track of my weight as a means of measuring my progress- my goal is to lose 50 pounds, but that is because for my height and age, and based on how I felt 50 pounds ago, I know that is a realistic and healthy goal for which to strive.
My main goal is to get rid of the stored body fat- thus reducing my BMI ( body mass index)- which seems to be a more accurate measurement of progress. It is this number that I seek to lessen, it is the excess stored body fat ( particularly around my midsection) that increases my risk for late onset diabetes, circulatory & heart problems- and it runs in the family so I HAVE to get this under control before I do irreversable damage-
So, come along with me on my journey...I am doing this as part of my testimony of what the Lord is doing in my life...I will depend on Him to see me through this.
He is already providing the way out...my role is to follow Him.
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